Life in the zombie apocalypse? Not so great. Dating life in the zombie apocalypse? Honestly, not so bad!
While tragedy and trauma strikes at nearly every turn in “The Walking Dead,” there’s an abundance of hope and camaraderie as well — and even a surprising amount of romance.
Image Comics
Indeed, there’s an argument to be made that dating in the world of the Image Comics’ zombie epic is easier than dating in the real world. After all…
Are you alive?
Image ComicsGood! You’re off to a great start. Just by virtue of being alive, you’re one of the apocalypse’s most eligible bachelors and/or bachelorettes. No need for an extensive resumé or dating profile that shows off all of your wonderful attributes. You already have the big one — a pulse.Are you old?
Image ComicsYou’re in luck! Age doesn’t matter when dating in the apocalypse. All that matters is that you’re alive, and preferably not a psychopath.Are you young?
Image ComicsLike it or not, someone probably wants to date you.Are you married?
Image ComicsMaybe! But even then, your spouse has probably been eaten by walkers already, so feel no guilt about going ahead and pairing off with your late love’s best friend. (Unless said spouse turns out to be totally alive, in which case, awkward.)Are you horny?
Image ComicsYou’re not alone. Sometimes, shooting zombies in the head isn’t enough of a stress reliever. Most survivors want to get rid of their stress the old fashioned way. See: knocking boots, bumping uglies, and any other phrase that equals “getting it on.” In other words, there’s lots of s-e-x in the a-p-o-c-a-l-y-p-s-e.- Are you losing interest?
-
You can break up the old fashioned way, or you just wait for nature to take its course — and by nature, we mean zombies, and by take its course, we mean eat your partner. When the inevitable occurs, you’ll be free and clear to move onto another relationship. It’s kind of like speed-dating, albeit with more guts and gore.
Are you looking for love?
Image ComicsDON’T. Seriously, seriously, do not. While dating is rich and plentiful in the zombie apocalypse, settling down and starting a family is inadvisable, due to that whole “you and all of your loved ones are inevitably going to get eaten by zombies at some point” thing. Meet new people, explore your feelings, and have yourself some fun. But beyond that, there’s one golden rule when it comes to both surviving dating in the apocalypse, and surviving the apocalypse at large: PROTECT YOURSELF.
~mtv.com/joshwigler
No comments:
Post a Comment