Near Death (2004)
Director: Joe Castro
Writer: Daniel Benton
Synopsis: Ghosthunters find a film director's haunted mansion and anger the flesh-eating ghouls inside.
Umm...
ACTING: To say that the acting was atrocious would be a good thing. I think of the entire cast, one person could act and the rest were just horrible. Don't quite your day jobs, people.
PRODUCTION: The lighting is bad, the special effects are bad, the direction and pacing of the film is bad, I just don't see how this movie was made. Maybe in the hands of a capable director with a strong acting cast, this movie could have overcame its budgetary limitations. I have seen movies made on a shoestring budget, that were 100 times better than this.
ZOMBIES: Not your typical zombies that shamble, grunt and groan, these are able to function as people, but can not go out into the daylight. (Holy vampires, Batman!) Up until the end, I thought that they might possibly be cannibals, but the spectacular special effects finale (insert sarcasm) cleared that up. I guess they would be classified as functioning zombies.
THE CAUSE: A movie director who lived in the home committed suicide after his maid spurned his advances and needs to be exorcised(?) from the house.
NUDITY: Some breasts pop up here and there.
FINAL: There is so very little that I can say I liked about this movie. Once the descent into badness began, I thought that possible it could be one of those "so bad it's good" movies. But, that surpassed that level quickly. It ended up being just a bad movie. While there were a few gore moments that fell into that "so bad it's good" column, (and I actually laughed out loud) there was nothing here to save this movie. The title says it all: Near Death is what you'll be after wasting your time on this.
RATING: 1 out of 5
No comments:
Post a Comment