Tuesday, August 28, 2012


7 Landmarks Perfect for Surviving a Zombie Attack





How do they know which way to go? Source
When the zombie apocalypse comes (and it is coming), you can rejoice in the fact that the shotgun, samurai sword and survival supplies you stashed under your bed will finally be of use. After the frantic fun of the initial onslaught, where you alleviate your frustrations with some mindless mayhem, it’s time to get practical and figure out where you can weather the undead storm. So here are 7 landmarks that are perfect for surviving a zombie attack.

They want to ‘meat’ you. Source

7. Blackpool Tower


With a TV aerial that big, they must get great reception. Source
According to Dr Dale Seslick, author of Dr Dale’s Zombie Dictionary, Blackpool Tower in the UK is one of the safest landmarks to be at during a zombie attack because of its height. Due to the decomposition of the brain, a zombie lacks the manual dexterity and co-ordination required for climbing; so, anywhere high up which requires a ladder for access should be reasonably safe.

The glass floors will give you a great view of Zombies eating your friends. Source
This would make other landmarks such as the Eiffel Tower in Paris and Tokyo Tower in Japan ideal candidates as well. What raises Blackpool Tower’s survivability above the other two mentioned is that there are a number of restaurants at its base, which would provide a short-term food source. So grab your spade and head to the seaside.

6. 7 World Trade Centre


The safest building in New York. Source
After the collapse of the first World Trade Centre in the September 11th terror attacks it was decided that the replacement World Trade Centre would be the safest building ever constructed. Not only is the building earthquake proof, but there is an internal concrete core designed to be safe from fire or chemical or biological attack.

This is the entrance. Look for the deformed balloon dog. Source
In terms of surviving a Zombie attack the numerous floors and safety core would make it ideal as a defensive point and the attack-proof core would limit the spread of contagion. The building also sits atop the Con Ed electrical substation which provides most of Lower Manhattan with its energy needs, so you wouldn't have to worry about power-cuts. Once cleared of the undead and placed on lockdown this building would make an impenetrable fortress with magnificent park views.

5. Bahnhoff Underground Data Centre


It looks like a Mall on the moon. Source
Thirty meters below the center of Stockholm, buried underneath solid granite bedrock, inside a converted nuclear bunker, lies the Bahnhoff Data Center. Sealed off from the world by a coded entrance door 40 cm thick, the Bahnhoff Data Center is one of the safest places in the world, and if you could get access to it, would be an ideal place to hide from a Zombie attack.

This is what it looks like inside. Honestly. Source
Designed to withstand a hydrogen bomb, the center is powered by two German submarine engines and not only has a fully stocked kitchen, but also a waterfall and numerous greenhouses. If the Zombie apocalypse lasts longer than anticipated, you can grow your own produce without ever leaving the safety of the 1110 square-meter shelter. Even if all the facility personnel are infected, with a full-time staff of only fifteen, you won’t have many Zombies to ‘dispose’ off. Just make sure one of them tells you the exit door code first.

4. The Svalbard Global Seed Vault


These places are real! Source
Agriculture’s ‘back-up drive’, the Global Seed Vault in the frozen wastes of Svalbard in Norway, is humanity’s food production failsafe should a global catastrophe ever occur. A sub-zero storage facility containing over half a million seed samples, the vault is built to last thousands of years, and is earthquake, fire, flood and bomb proof.

The blue spotlights are used to create atmosphere. Source
The facility also boasts reinforced steel security doors, air locks, 24-hour video surveillance, a highly trained, heavily armed security force, and is built into the side of a mountain. With the closest human settlement being Longyearbyen, a small town many miles away with a population of only 2000, the chances of Zombie’s worrying you in this remote facility are minimal. Just remember to bring a coat, as the temperature rarely goes above minus three degrees Celsius .

3. US Bullion Depository


Boring on the outside. Gold on the inside. Source
If the tanks, Apache helicopters, armed guards, 30,000 soldiers, electric fences and concrete-lined walls aren’t enough to keep the Zombie’s at bay, then surely hiding behind the US Bullion Depository’s 22-ton, solid-steel door will keep you safe.

Don’t forget to close the door behind you. Source
The US Bullion Depository, commonly known as Fort Knox (due to the Army base of the same name situated close by), is one of the safest places on Earth. Built to house a large portion of the US gold reserves, the depository is designed to be impenetrable by an attacking force. So, if you’re near Kentucky when the Zombie plague breaks out, head to the depository and hope that someone lets you in.

2. Fort Boyard


Zombies can’t water-ski: Fact. Source
Zombies cannot swim. They lack the intellectual capacity or the required buoyancy to traverse water. So any structure surrounded by a large body of water should suffice as an adequate Zombie defense. Located off the coast of the south of France is Fort Boyard, a nineteenth-century fort which was abandoned in 1913.

Zombie-proof cage. Source
Now completely uninhabited, this island fortress would make the perfect refuge from a Zombie attack, as it is surrounded by a particularly large moat: the Atlantic Ocean. Designed to repel the British, this fortress comes equipped with canon mounts and was once used as a prison, meaning it is pretty secure. So, if you find yourself stuck on a ship during the Zombie attack, why not head to Fort Boyard for a vacation from the undead.

1. Alcatraz


The Thunderbirds are suing for copyright infringement. Source
Alcatraz Island, off the coast of San Francisco, may just be the perfect place to survive a Zombie attack. Known as ‘The Rock’, the island is accessible only by ferry, meaning that there can only be a limited number of people (and Zombies) there at any one time.

A picturesque zombie sanctuary. Source
Alcatraz boasts a military fortification, a maximum-security prison and a lighthouse, all of which would make a safe and secure refuge from the flesh-eating hordes. With 22 acres of space, the island is large enough to hold a small community and has ample green space available for farming crops. So, if you’re looking for a landmark that offers ultimate protection from the undead hordes, take a trip to ‘The Rock’.

The mall is the worst place to be at any time. Just order stuff online, it’s easier. Source
You can never predict where you’re going to be when the Zombies finally attack; so, if you can’t get to one of the landmarks mentioned above, try to get somewhere high up, preferably surrounded by water and with strong doors. Remember to bring ample survival supplies and always have a weapon to hand. Keep a strong will and a sound mind and you’ll survive. Good hunting.

Never use public transport. Buy a car, you hippie. Source



~http://survival-goods.com/

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