Friday, May 29, 2015

10 Essential Items You Need in a Zombie Apocalypse

We’ve learned many things from the post-apocalyptic world displayed on AMC’s The Walking Dead, but the biggest lesson is that you can never have too much supplies. Surviving in a world full of hungry zombies takes a lot. With the spin-off Fear the Walking Dead bringing zombies to the West Coast this Summer, we thought that now would be the perfect time for LA residents to start shopping for the essentials. Here are 10 essential items for anyone who is looking to survive a zombie apocalypse.
1. Large Water Bottle from Brita – $21.99
You will find many things have changed after zombies rise from the dead, but one of the biggest changes will be the access to clean drinking water. That’s where your Large Water Bottle from Brita comes in handy. It has its own built in filter, so you could even drink from the most corrupted of water supplies.
2. Howling Wolf Lighter from Zippo – $36.95
This one covers two bases for survivors. On one hand you have an extremely reliable source of fire. On the other hand, the howling wolf decal lets your fellow survivors know that you mean business. It’s a scientific face that people are drawn to images of howling wolves. You’ll be able to cook on the fly, and look super cool while doing it.
3. Deluxe Family First Aid Kit from the Red Cross – $27.00
Cuts and scratches are a part of daily life in a zombie apocalypse. On the good days you might have to deal with a bad tear, and on the bad days it could be a missing limb. That’s why you need to invest in a deluxe first aid kit. A sleeve of band-aids and anti-bacterial ointment isn’t enough. It pays to invest in your health because you’re all alone when the zombies take over.
4. M48 Apocalypse Tactical Tomahawk from United Cutlery – $30.43
Weapons are very important if you want to survive, but what kind of weapon is best? Guns are great for cinematic head shots, but there’s that pesky problem of finding ammo. That’s where melee weapons like the M48 Tactical Tomahawk come into play. It never needs to be reloaded, and is easily concealed from strangers. It also looks extremely mean. Intimidation is never a bad thing when you’re talking about a lawless society.

5. A 12 month subscription to the Fruit of the Month Club from Harry and David – $349.45
Now this one is a risk because there’s a good chance Harry and David won’t be able to meet their deliveries once the apocalypse begins. Then again, nothing can stop the power of capitalism, not even zombies. It might sound like a risk, but then again would you want to miss out on being the only person with fresh Rainier cherries on the east coast of the country? Hedge your bet by putting the whole purchase on your credit card. Let them try to collect on that while zombies are trying to eat the offices of Visa.
6. Kingdom 6 Tent from REI – $439.00
There’s nothing better than knowing where you are going to lay your head at night, and the Kingdom 6 Tent gives you that in spades. It features two separate sleeping compartments, in case you encounter new friends along the way. It breaks down easy, if you need to make a quick exit, and it can stand up to any kind of weather.
7. Apple Watch (42MM Stainless Steel) – $599.00
Just because zombies are taking over the world, doesn’t mean status no longer matters. Nothing says “I’m good” than a functioning Apple Watch. Would you rather follow the guy with the Apple Watch or the guy who can’t wirelessly connect to their phone? Simple math.
8. ELF 1.5 – $5,495.00$6,895.00
You might have never heard of the ELF before, but it is the perfect vehicle for the post-zombie world. It is a solar powered/bike hybrid. No need to find gas. Just sit it outside and you are good to go. It might not look like a car that will turn heads, but anything that runs after the dead rise will be a winner. Stick with the power of the sun.
9. Wood Folding Chess Set – $21.26
It can get boring during a zombie invasion. You could be holed up for weeks in a confined space, and you are going to need something to do. That’s where your trusty chess set comes into play. And if things get really rough, you can always use the board for fire wood. That’s double trouble.
10. Solar and Hand-Crank Powered Emergency LED Flashlight Mobile Phone Charger – $36.71
Want to become the most powerful person in the our new post-apocalyptic world? Be the only person with access to a phone charge. The flashlight is also solar and hand-crank powered. If you can avoid getting your liver ripped out of your body, then you totally be able to continue playing Candy Crush Soda on your iPhone.
We can’t guarantee you’ll survive that long if zombies invade our world, but you’ll definitely be stylish if you get all 10 of these items in your emergency stash. You don’t want to be the one guy without an Apple Watch when the world starts to end.

No comments:

Post a Comment