Saturday, January 17, 2015

Top 10 Things About Being a Zombie

Sure, you're mostly dead. That can be a bummer, but why see the glass as half empty? If life (sorry to mention life here, we know it's a touchy subject right now) has taught you anything, it's that the only constant is change. Yes, this is a BIG change, but look at it this way …

10. Throw away that gym membership. You will never need to work out again.

9. No breathing means no breath; no breath means no bad breath.

8. Zombie-on-zombie crime is virtually unheard of.

7. Motorcycle helmet and automobile seatbelt laws do not apply to zombies.

6. Zombies never pay income tax (or sales tax in 32 states).

5. There is no reason in the world not to smoke.

4. Brains are almost completely carb-free.

3. You never need to hurry anywhere.

2. Hallmark has recently introduced "Happy Deathday" cards aimed specifically at the zombie market.

1. All zombies are grotesque, so it's all about personality when it comes to the zombie dating scene.

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